In November 2014, I made an unexpected return to the working world. I'm jumping ahead. I should start at the beginning. It was such a WOW God thing, I have to write it down or we all know where it will go (to the long lost land of mommy brain!).
I'm gonna go way back. Mostly because I remember, so I want to celebrate that. :) When David went on staff at church, we felt without a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord was calling me to leave my part time job and stay home with the kids. It was always something I desperately wanted to do, but for one reason or another it seems that God always said, "No...not yet." I was thrilled that I was given the go-ahead and gladly turned in my heels and business attire for my PJ's and slippers. It really is not over rated. Being a stay-at-home mom is a rad gig. I am so thankful I was able to experience it, even for a brief season. It's a whole different world of crazy hard. It's awesome.
So David goes on staff at church and we start living month to month in a way we never thought possible. Every month (literally) we re-evaluated. Is this something we can sustain? How is the Lord going to show up this month? We are idiots and stupid and irresponsible... but God is telling us that I am supposed to be home. It was a new way of life. It was hard. But we were certain that it was where God has us. That makes it all okay in those desperate moments. When your only plan is God showing up. It grounded our faith and family in a way that nothing else could. But we still asked. At around the same time every month I became a monster of sheer panic and anxiety. I would tell David in a furry, "This is so dumb. I just need to go back to work. This is crazy!" And every time the Lord showed up. Every time my husband walked me back from my "I want control!" ledge and we powered on. For the entirety of those 2.5 years, if I had gone online, submitted my resume, sent a few emails, made a few calls...I would have been operating out of distrust. I knew that if I took matters into my own hands , I was telling God "You are not enough. And I do not approve of how you are providing for us. " So I sat on my hands. For those that know me well...might be one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm a doer. A solution finder. If I want a room painted, I will find a 24 hr paint store and have the room (and all the furniture in it) painted by morning. I do not wait. I have never been good at it. So every month we asked the Lord. "Is it time?" We kept hearing no. Both of us. So I couldn't trick David. :)
There I am, sitting in the hospital waiting room, while David is in back surgery. I'm on pins and needles waiting for an update from the doctor. It's been 4 hours. My phone buzzes in my hands and I see my old boss' name pop up. "Hello?" It's been almost 3 years. And there is was. God's timing. He was telling me to wait and I didn't know for what and for why. She offered me an amazing job opportunity, right then and there. I did not look for it. I did not seek it out. It seemed to drop from the sky. Interesting, Lord. Well played.
So now I'm really dying to get to David in recovery! I'm analyzing how long is appropriate for me to wait to drop the God-given bomb. I have to at least tell him I'm thankful he made it through surgery and check on his pain level. That is my plan. :)
I finally get to recovery. I manage to wait for the long winded PT to finish her pep talk (ugh! Hurry up!), I push his pain med pump, and then I tell him . "David, Tiffany called."... The next month we wrestled with the offer. After much prayer and consideration, it seemed so screamingly obvious that this was from the Lord. It was so freeing! No question of our motives, no lack of trust, no guilt. This job was a God-given gift. And we better not spit on it.
So while I loved being a stay-at-home mom for nearly 3 years, I truly have loved returning to my work in a new way. It's an exciting opportunity to share the story of God's provision with our kids. It's hard having 2 working parents. But God is so much bigger than that in their little lives! In all honestly, I was prepared to hate it. I was planning to dread it on a daily basis. But I knew it was what we had to do. So I asked those close to me to pray. Please pray that I will like it. I have to do it. I would love to not hate it. And it worked! I un-apolologetically love what I am doing. Is it crazy? Yes. We are managing busy schedules and saying "no" to a whole lot. But God is using it for David to stay in seminary, to not have to quit for a second job, the list goes on. It is good. And I'm not sorry to say it. :)
And seriously, I get to come home to this bunch. So good.
I'm hoping to catch up on these little dudes past year. They have seriousness awesomeness I want to remember! :)
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